People that have it curse it, people that don't have it want it badly. Why is it so important to be accepted, and why is it hard to deal with theses drama queens/fags. I might as well talk on this topic since I've spent 5 years on this and have came to the conclusion that "It's a shot in the dark".

Friends can mean a lot of different things to different people. People that knows you, people that care for you, people that are connected in your social realm etc. I will just give a quick history of how college has been socially:

1st year: APC/acts

APC was the worse group of people for me to  hang around with because the guys would never study and keep dragging me to do things with them. As a misdirection prone freshman, I followed and got screwed in my classes. I did however meet one person from the mess (and now two) that I would consider as my best friends. Joong, Jiene, Kim(from calculus), Aditi(chem lab eww), and Christine, though Christine was more of a later/upcoming one. I met a group of engineers and honors guys that did the same things together as a group and still good friends with some. It was more of a time of me figuring out which kinds of people to hang around with and which ones to stay the fuck away. Some people want to screw you over because they enjoy watching that and some others feel that freshmen are easy picking especially in the case of girls. When you have a relationship during freshman year, you miss out all the opportunities to find friends for life (which is very true since the bf demands a lot of time and could care less of this important and immutable truth).

2nd: Red cross/Acts

Acts had a very diverse group of people from the fobs to the english tuned koreans/chinese. More or less it was a group of people that wanted to socialize and to do things together (the loitering and eating at the same place got old for me pretty fast). Red Cross was a big mistake to join because it was filled with all premed guys that wanted to put good things on their resume. Needless to say, me and Joong got screwed in doing their work that year and found out that even with a good label, a group can be an utter wreck because of the people want out of that group (get the fuck out of my way and do all these please). These are the premed guys that YOU DON'T want as your doctor (arrogant and not caring for your state, just about themselves). This is around the  time I realized how good people are faking themselves and how pointless it was to pursue this type of social life. If your goal is to win approval from these people, then you have the wrong goal my friend. This is also when I met the bane of my college experience: Dr. Douglas Lloyd. DRL

3rd: school buddies

Study groups and homework reviews with a few people. These were really nice to do with people because you see how each person is in a stressful setting. But as the months went by, people left the university until it went down to me and Adam (and I’m not sure where he went still). This was a breaking year because I had to deal with someone I knew (acquaintance/friend) hanged himself and my relatives passed away. On top of all that I still had Dr. Douglas Lloyd kicking me in the butt every time I messed up and kept sarcastically making me feel worse. Needless to say, you don't look so great when you're under a lot of stress and sadness, people knew I was unhappy and stayed away. Then again you can't blame them, who wants to be part of the problem?

4th: China care and school

School got rough and I wasn't pulling out of it. I had to have an outlet and caring for children was one of them. The main problem was when someone came in and started to call the shots and kept making me look bad. Steph which ironically is a sister of a person my friend knows about in LA (small world right? LOL) And he knew all the bad history surrounding her. All it takes is one person to ruin your day and I didn't make an effort to stand up because school work delayed that to a point of no return. I had no choice but to leave that organization and just forget about it. But thinking back, it was for the better because the people in it often wanted to use other people. Many examples would be asking me for favors and never talking to me afterwards, that's life for you. I got out of the rutt of my college work and started to go up.

5th: School and end

Life isn't hard, its just unfair. From that unfairness, our life can seem difficult to follow or to carry it out. People come and go and to be surrounded by fags/whores/popular freaks will never answer or fix problems (only creates more). Go to where you have a passion in, and stick for what you believe in. Never give up, and always persevere. My college career has been a big rollercoaster ride and has taught me countless lessons about myself and about others. Education is just the basis of going to college, the social environment is something you sometimes with you knew before hand what to expect. But it all works out if you keep at it. I've failed classes and retaken them many times. Each day I'm in those classes, I can't believe I'm in there. But you learn to cope with your situation and do what it takes to move on. The people that you meet along the way and have a great friendship with are the rewards we carry on for the rest of our life. The rest are just observers of how you want to accomplish your goals in life. I did have a serious relationship and it ended because I knew that the person was not going to change from her nature and I did not see myself living with her faults for the rest of my life. Granted, we're all human and we all have faults that we can cope with. But being told that I am always wrong to her, unrealistic, and demanding in many aspects, perfectionist, unrealistic expectations on everything I have to do for her? It was not a pretty situation to deal with especially trying to finish my year of work.

In 10 years from now, I will forget probably all the people I've met from college except those 10 or so privileged people. We can’t help the world if we can’t help the people that are dear with us. It would mean that all we did was for a show and was a front. Be the person you want to be and live your life. Apply what you have learned and be a good person so someday people will aspire to be like you.

“Keep people close to you that are irreplaceable. Live without regrets and with what is right. Turn words into action and never go down without a fight. If I make a difference, let it be a positive one.”

-mikeyee